(Cover Image by Nonki Azariah / Unsplash)

Tell me your dreams, Sidney Sheldon.

First time around, I was 17, alone in a foreign country, trying to wrap my head around english books.

Second time, I had just begun my first job as a developer.

Third time, I was 23. I had just moved to a new country.

I don’t what it is about this book. It centers me. Gives me a sense of stability when everything else around me is changing.

I might like travelling, trying new things and meeting new people; but I’m still very much introverted and this book is how I keep my inner self from totally freaking out when it. just. can’t. take it anymore.

Maybe it’s because Ashley Patterson and her multiple personalities are very relatable to me. Maybe I too feel haunted by a not so "similar" Doppelgänger.

Or maybe it’s just because my introverted passenger loves his rituals, and this is the one that stuck with me most through the years, across time zones.

I’m considering reading it again for a 4th time. No big change has occurred in my life since the last time. I’m still 23. I’m still in love with the same smart and amazing girl. Yet I wake up every morning lately and nothing makes since in my life anymore. I need my talisman. But I feel hesitant. I’m afraid it’ll lose that special something if I break the unspoken agreement I have with it: "only for big scary changes".

Even though it is scary not to care about anything anymore, even though I feel lost, It’d be inconceivable the depth of the lost I’d feel if it’s effect on me was lost as well.

I will give it a try anyways.

It’s time to rub that book and see if the Genie grants me another wish. Who knows; I might get lucky and be the first one to get a 4th.